the focus

[and as he wrote, he took a picture of a picture, with a window in a half-reflection. it was a picture of her. the view making her seem like she was in the room with him.]



on passivity: a sure-fire way to tell? don't keep the gaze. look away, look down especially. down AND away. it's how to tell. in my station, however, i toe the line. being passive in regards to romanticism, but quite active in how i interact with people everyday. i'm not THE passive, but just being that way, much more than before, in some aspects of my life. that being said:

-i biked by. very little time to lock eyes, but it happened. we probably both wanted to turn our heads but our muscles wouldn't let us. they're controlled, you know. plus, i'm sure i would've hit a car, and she would've hit a wall with that guy she was walking next to. but the feeling was still there.

-i was at the restaurant. a woman at a large table was turning her head. as our faces connected, the moment came in the gaze were we smile, look away, interpret thereafter. the smile definately came, but she held it, for, like, 3 seconds. WHOA. it was i who broke it, walked to the other room, told a co-worker (dave). he poked fun at me, i was all like "don't look at her, she'll know we're talking about her..." and he was all like "i KNOW, but she WANTS you to do that, idiot." it was funny. i didn't catch her eye again.

-i got in a small tiff with a higher-up. i kept eye contact and held my ground on my point, only making my case stronger, but only digging myself deeper. those lower need no argument, only order, only work. i backed down, held my place, stayed lower. all was well, but with slight frustration. s'how it goes.

-i heard a voice through a camera lens, traveling at the speed of circles, some digital static that's easily ignored. her voice rips through the cornea, alters reflection, so much to the point that i'm simply lying in bed, staring at an unconscious wall. the gaze is kept by both parties, i include. the space between atoms becomes just a constant noise, that of connection between the movement of chemicals in two seperate brains. they move in similar patterns, and in analogy, the synapse is gone. or filled, rather. words used: take 8 minutes and divide by 90 million lonely miles. sun in a comfortably occupied but mostly empty room.



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