Deferred Memory

as in response to that which is forefront? perhaps. but it's day 5 of sobriety, and hearing a friends blog of feelings conjured up by each brand of beer made me taste it. but then i thought of a bagel and tasted a bagel, and then i ate one. needless to say: my syntax is a little wrek'd.

but so i was reading, then i wrote a couple thesis pages before typing, in my head, and then my mind drifted to blog before i got the stuff down. but it's there, it's there. again, syntax error. but it all comes out in the end. "In short, acceptance or non-acceptance of an identity between ceremonial symbol and ceremonial referrent is a matter of membership in a community, and not a matter of fact or logic." (Szasz, 40). The meaning we ascribe as we imbibe is a total social creation, and we can therefore do what we want with it. I can't help but think of the flagstaff ceremony, that which took on drink as blood of scene, elixir of causation for most it seemed. WAS it blood? perhaps.
but the causation comes only when consciousness arrives on the scene. meaning: there's no problem if problem isn't identified as such. i went to shows sober for years, then i hit a point when i saw no use in it. i continued to get hammered at shows and had the time of my life. every show was consistently more fun than the one before. and i went to a show here and there and wouldn't drink, and had fun, but not quite as much. as you might imagine.

i guess it was the consumption of hedonistic mercury. eh? it's like the normal curve. once all the days are outliers, the outliers become the norm. the stardard deviation twice up is blackout or death, that twice down is a shitty movie or a book that doesn't make sense. and i DO overstate the case to make the point. but man, it's like a dream, one that i'd still like to have every night. "The human need for social contact, for a communion with others of one's own kind, is second only to the organismic need for the satisfaction of the biological requirements for survival. In the satisfaction of this need for sociability, ceremony plays an indispensable part." (Szasz, 39).



i could live off weed cookies and beer forever, i think.

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