--- spotless black fabric ---

i recently wrote a large soapbox on economy and misperceptions. it was preachy and annoying, so i've changed it. the best parts included:

"the sad truth about most people is that money and fashion are big determinants of self-worth and the perception of others. however, it is pretty solid fucking bullshit, and i think it helps to be conscious of that."

it's interesting to see the effects of money on such a mass scale. i've sworn that i'd never get a large black felt jacket, and then i saw a friend in one the other day. s'how it goes, i s'pose. and it's a strange feeling to get bad looks at a bar for breaking their obvious rules about importing beverages, and then to say to the man in charge: "don't worry - it won't happen again, mostly because i'll probably never go to this place again in my life" and meaning it. not in retaliation, or with spite, but just in complete truth. probably the reason why trust is much harder in these parts.

speaking of which: 1) there is a woman i find terribly engrossing and adorable. she feels similar, or so it seems, and it's hard on both parts to know what the fuck is going on. but it's so lovely we don't care. interesting? who knows. all's i see is eyes. and; 2) that girl who caught my eye and was written about a few blogs ago (SEE: past blogs down page) caught the eye again 2 days ago. then, today was in the store, but i shaved beard totally and cut hair dramatically. in response: NO eye. she was just into the beard. bummer.

but it's an interesting and lovely and turbulant and calming time. time for sleep, and the best dramatics of relaxation to take hold. i love the feeling of singing lightly to one another on the bus, and i hope to feel it's kiss and intoxication again.